{"id":4206,"date":"2012-04-15T06:46:29","date_gmt":"2012-04-15T11:46:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.masturbationmistress.com\/blog\/?p=4206"},"modified":"2012-04-16T08:54:17","modified_gmt":"2012-04-16T13:54:17","slug":"lost-in-the-emerald-city-not-an-oz-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.masturbationmistress.com\/blog\/2012\/04\/lost-in-the-emerald-city-not-an-oz-story","title":{"rendered":"Lost In the Emerald City – Not an Oz Story"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Weekend Begins<\/h3>\n

Brace yourselves as this story is not really sexy in any way, but it’s all true and I had to share because it was quite funny, a little sad and a great lesson, all in one.<\/p>\n

As some of you know I took a weekend off a few weeks ago and went on a little adventure up north. \u00a0Mostly, I went to visit with some family and catch up with some friends, just normal everyday stuff. \u00a0I love going to visit this time of year because there is still snow on the mountains and it’s so beautiful. \u00a0From my mother’s house I can literally look right at a snow capped mountain and watch the sunset make it glow a beautiful red. \u00a0It’s a wonderful sight to see and I never get tired of it. \u00a0 I even took a picture to share with all of you! \u00a0This is from her backyard, I’m not kidding.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

So, since I got away from the everything for a few days and relaxed, I thought I would share my mini vacation in all it’s glory with you. \u00a0The trip up north was great, we had a wonderful drive, my sister and I. \u00a0The weather wasn’t bad except for still being a bit chilly this time of year, which is normal in the Pacific northwest. \u00a0We stayed a few days, did some shopping in town and got our nails done. \u00a0Nothing spectacular, just normal girly stuff. \u00a0I made swedish meatballs one night and my sister made fried clams another night. \u00a0Basically it was just hang out with mom, and oh yes, we taught her how to play words with friends, lol. \u00a0She’s getting better at it but she really sucked at first.<\/p>\n

We’re Off to See the Wizard!<\/h3>\n

After a few days of relaxation it was time to hit the road so off we went heading back to the south and not really looking forward to having to return to reality. \u00a0But, wait…the Emerald City was approaching and it being a great Friday afternoon we decided what the hell, we’d stop. \u00a0This is where it gets interesting. \u00a0I decided to let my sister drive my BMW on the way back because frankly, I was tired of doing all the driving. \u00a0So, I navigated with my phone and got us into downtown Seattle. \u00a0It had been ages since we’d been anywhere near the waterfront, I mean AGES. \u00a0But, we got pretty close and found a parking garage to pull into on a Friday afternoon in traffic. \u00a0We parked and got out of the car. \u00a0I decided to switch to my crossover purse (it crosses my body for safety) and put the ticket for the parking garage in my other purse and placed it in the trunk. \u00a0MISTAKE #1<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Shopping! \u00a0YAY!<\/h3>\n

We headed down the hill, past the Seattle Art Museum and quickly found ourselves in Pike Place Market. \u00a0Oh, I love the smells of fresh fruits, vegetable, and FISH! \u00a0Of course, the market wasn’t going to be open a lot longer so we scurried through to find our favorite spots and buy a few things we just couldn’t live without. \u00a0Fresh flowers are a must on a Friday at the market because the price drops quite a bit, to ready for the fresh batch coming on the weekend. \u00a0Naturally, I snagged a great bouquet complete with cherry blossoms, some fantastic japanese tea and, of course, some fresh smoked salmon. \u00a0We flirted a bit with the fish mongers, too. \u00a0What girl can resist a man throwing a 50 pound fish? \u00a0I had a picture of them, but it was horrific, so I thought I’d show you what WE call lobster and some gorgeous fruits and veggies!<\/p>\n

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Time to Head Home (Oh I wish I had a Brain\/GPS)<\/h3>\n

Ok, so shopping was done, sun is starting to go down and it’s time to head home, right? \u00a0No, not exactly. \u00a0This is where I discovered that my sister and I share a unique trait, we are both directionally impaired. \u00a0I don’t mean a little bit, I mean a lot. \u00a0I didn’t really know this about my sister, to be honest. \u00a0I mean, she can work on engines and do a lot of things I don’t even want to try so I thought, being more mechanical, that she would know what she was talking about when she said, “Go this way”, or “Go that way”. \u00a0MISTAKE #2 <\/strong>Needless to say, we could not locate our parking garage. \u00a0Not at all. \u00a0We remembered things about the building like the parking levels being named after cities and the fact that there was a bank on the main floor. \u00a0But, what street? \u00a0Oops, forgot to make a note of that.<\/p>\n

Where is the Wizard in this City, Anyway?<\/h3>\n

So, after walking up and down some steep hills and getting more exercise than an elliptical for almost 3 solid hours (did I mention STEEP hills?), we finally spotted some men in yellow jackets who appeared to be some sort of city helpers. \u00a0Could there really be helpful munchkins in the Emerald City? \u00a0Well, not exactly, but tall good looking black men in yellow jackets would do nicely. \u00a0Otherwise known as city Ambassadors. \u00a0What a nice thing to have, Seattle. \u00a0Kudos to the Emerald City! \u00a0So, while my sister is babbling to these men (it became a crowd of 6 men to be exact) and literally sobbing about our dilemma (I tried to stop her from crying but it was useless), I stepped away to call Mr Tia and notify him of our situation. \u00a0MISTAKE #3 <\/strong>– Never give a man a reason to laugh his ass off at your directionally impaired soul. \u00a0Luckily, I got the answering machine at home and left him a calm message stating we had LOST the parking garage but we were in the capable hands of some fine men who were going to help us. \u00a0 As soon as I hang up the phone I notice a LUSH to my left and a Sephora to my right. \u00a0 I had to resist the urge to walk away from my sister, leaving her crying and still looking for the car while I basked in the glories of beauty shopping, that was the true test of my love for my sister. \u00a0 Let me say this, even if they didn’t want to help us, my sister gave them NO CHOICE AT ALL. \u00a0On the way I receive a text message from Mr Tia that read: “Did you find the car yet? LOL!” \u00a0Yeah, real funny, dude. \u00a0You walk around Seattle for 3 and a half, no make that 4 hours, with a crying sister and see how funny it is. \u00a0But, the gentlemen did know the way and got us to the car, I’ll say that. \u00a0Now, with that bit of drama behind us we can concentrate on the drive home. \u00a0Thanks guys! \u00a0We’ll take it from here! \u00a0So nice of you! \u00a0Etc… \u00a0So, I hand my sister the car keys MISTAKE #4<\/strong><\/p>\n

Seriously?? \u00a0AGAIN?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

We get into the car and I’m pulling up our directions on my phone when she starts dialing on hers as soon as she can get a signal, blubbering to all of her friends, boyfriend, etc. about how horrible an experience it was being lost in Seattle. \u00a0Did I mention she was driving? \u00a0OMG, really? \u00a0Let’s get out of Seattle, shall we? \u00a0So, I resisted my urge to throw her phone out the window and calmly said, “Take a left here”. \u00a0She took a right. \u00a0That’s when I screamed, “PULL OVER!!”. \u00a0What can I say? \u00a0When I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough. \u00a0She pulled over immediately, still on the phone, crying and whining to someone about the fact that I just yelled at her. \u00a0Oh look, we’re in Chinatown. \u00a0Good job, sis.<\/p>\n

We finally found the freeway and made it home VERY late and exhausted.<\/p>\n

To make a long story short it was an adventure and I thought it was funny that I lost my car. \u00a0Unfortunately, my sister didn’t find it amusing at all. \u00a0Ah well, no sense of humor I suppose. \u00a0I did however find a new app for my phone after I got home. \u00a0It’s called MyCarLocator and it’s free. \u00a0That will come in handy, I’m sure. \u00a0Provided I don’t lock my phone in the trunk.<\/p>\n

Happy Travels to all!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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